Steering On...

There's something inexplicably unique about the month of September that I really adore. Christmas has yet to come, I know, but there's just a charm about this month that I find myself getting brazenly drawn to. The plausible sights of French patisseries and retro china saucers. The clanking of glistening silverware along the cobbled sidewalks of beautiful Capri. The waning of summer and the glorious entrance of fall. The crisp gush of long awaited winds. The sweeping of crumpled, tattered leaves scraping against the rough patches of cement and messy brickwork. The waving of goodbyes and hellos. The longing for reconciliation and the touch of warmth...

I've been thinking long about how I should properly discontinue from this space; this blog. It so happened that a few months back I doubted the way in which I was portrayed. Writing here has given me so much freedom - even more than I've gotten in actual life - and that says a lot. I've lost touch on how many boundaries I've stepped across, or how bizarre and non-technical my thoughts can sometimes be, and I rued the occasional times I went overboard with myself. It has been a really good 6 years, shifting between different domains and crafting every post with heart and soul.

It may not seem as serious as when I look back at this in retrospect, I guess. For some, it's just another phase to forgo something necessary because we are all growing up and outcomes like these are predictable and foreseen. But it's different for me. I love writing. In fact, I think the only reason why I'm actually thinking of letting go of this blog altogether is because I love it too much to stay focused. It's September, after all. In 2 weeks I'll be off to the UK and I'll be starting a new chapter in my life. Not that I see it mandatory in accordance to the fact that so many things will be changing, but it had come to my senses that this had to end somehow, and this was the right time.

So is it over? For now, I'm prompted to settle for a plateau of non-updates as long as I get my real life back on track. This may take a few months, a year, or maybe a decade, it isn't up to me. I don't know why but I feel like I'm giving up on something so obtainable and fulfilling; it is as if I'm walking past a cake store and ignoring their samples. But in any way, I'm glad to have taken this step, only to be aware that my world will now be filled with less words. And that is alright, for who knows, I might be realizing that after all this time, there was something else I was missing out on. In this deluge of overflowing sentiments, I'm comforted by the fact that whatever it is, my love for writing will never, ever fade.

:)

God bless September.