Unseen Beauty in Pain

It's always better to let God take charge of the way, and you not having to worry for what's about to happen.

I think that at this point in life, I'm more obsessed about anything than that. I'm not seeing the bigger picture and I find myself terribly pushed into the corner of a cruel wall. I'm anticipating things that are just about impossible and I'm aiming for goals harder than I can try to shoot at. It's like I'm doing everything for the sake of nothing, when the outcome will eventually be something against my hopes - leaning more towards my doubts. I keep trusting, trying, fighting, persevering, enduring, lasting...but all that comes out of my effort are the lofty petals of disappointment and failures, time and time again. I'm sick of peeling fruit when I know at the end of the day it can't even be eaten because it turns out rotten. I'm so tired of staying true to myself because that isn't getting me anywhere. The world doesn't give a shit on what you are, but how you are to them. I regret the profanities but this is just as far as I can get, I promise.

Maybe it's just me, or maybe it isn't. I feel as though I'm losing myself day by day, left to be mould by society's superficiality on how a person should behave according their wants and not mine. I really don't want to do this, I'm just so sick and tired.

Please let this end already.