I'm desperately trying to conjure up sentences that make sense at the moment. As of now I am but half awake with a little help from the excitement that continues to bubble around the perimeters of my heart. It is true. I am becoming increasingly excited for this next phase in my life. Yet why do I sense this hope to elude said excitement? Why is it that whenever I finally succeed in mustering up the confidence to face the next 18 months of my life, something inside me decides to tear me down? It's as if it knows well I'm being in denial and I should just face the fact that I am scared. Too emotionally afraid to face what this other part of the world has to offer to my feet. How the reality of the future can be such painful rain to patter against the space of my parade.
It's hard to fit everything in a pile of organisation. It's even more difficult to put into words how much I want to accomplish these little things in life before everything comes to an abrupt halt. I don't want it to be this way. The past few days have been filled with schedules of buying all these necessities for boarding school and having last minute reunions for the sake of "the-last-times-of" memories, how ceremonious. I'll still be back once in a while, I keep saying with a smile. I mean, it's not like I'll be leaving the country. This isn't all that bad.
I don't know. It's either the sleepiness is starting to get to me or I can no longer understand how I really feel about such a change. Jeremiah 29:11 will continue to shape that hope and warmth that I need.
Sigh. I am feeling so, so sleepy. In whichever way I just cannot tell.
It's hard to fit everything in a pile of organisation. It's even more difficult to put into words how much I want to accomplish these little things in life before everything comes to an abrupt halt. I don't want it to be this way. The past few days have been filled with schedules of buying all these necessities for boarding school and having last minute reunions for the sake of "the-last-times-of" memories, how ceremonious. I'll still be back once in a while, I keep saying with a smile. I mean, it's not like I'll be leaving the country. This isn't all that bad.
I don't know. It's either the sleepiness is starting to get to me or I can no longer understand how I really feel about such a change. Jeremiah 29:11 will continue to shape that hope and warmth that I need.
Sigh. I am feeling so, so sleepy. In whichever way I just cannot tell.
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