Listening to :
The Ice is Getting Thinner - Death Cab for Cutie
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For the curious and out of reach/understanding, this post is totally undecipherable.
The Ice is Getting Thinner - Death Cab for Cutie
_____________
For the curious and out of reach/understanding, this post is totally undecipherable.
There are a few instances when one is required to not cross any line, not stir any sense of irk within anyone, and at least try becoming unselfish.
The one question that lingers in my thought now is : How far can one go to be completely insensitve, unashamed and remain turgid with pride even when one has failed to satisfy the supposed expectations of the opposite party involved?
In this impenetrable bubble of deceit and sudden unwelcome hostility, I wonder to myself whether I had once committed the same mistake I did back in the day when I thought this bridge of sincerity would never fall apart. I just never learn, do I? All I do is fall back onto a trampoline of repeats and keep springing up and down its surfaces when what I need to do is lay back and settle onto solid ground. Maybe a little pain would wake me up.
But eventually - I always knew it - this so-called bridge of harbored trust and laughter would soon collapse in either side of its way, causing what is seen as a concrete piece of block that can never be repaired. What used to be a zone of connection and reaching out to has now been crushed into something else that does not even matter anymore.
Not that it bothers me for any longer than a minute, but just in case this post exceeds its targeted aim of complaint, all I have to say is there is nothing better than a few good giggles as well as the assurance of the people that mean more to me than the ones who cannot seem to differentiate between what priority is and what isn't.
Sigh. Don't we all hate excuses but just love giving them? I wonder how it feels like to be the one who thinks that the recipient of these excuses is someone of minimal brain capacity; someone who is dumb enough to not scrutinize the torn edges which crinkle like old, worn out folds on a parcel of initial comfort; someone who thinks it's perfectly alright to coop up in her own nook of ignorance. Or perhaps, just someone who bears no importance whatsoever.
Times have changed and so have people. Could it be that I'm finally getting to see the light again? As I try lounging back to the familiarity of my quilt comfort, I am standing at the mercy of God to not let any nightmares get in the way, and even if they do, I sincerely hope that I'm not the only one to dream about it. I'm not even supposed to.
They say forgiveness is divine, but it sure does take up much time to actually do so. This is a time when I just don't know what to do, but somehow...forgiving isn't something that I'm keen on at the moment. I will, someday, but now isn't the time. Try as I may, it is quite unbelievable to know that what was once an object so familiar with you is wandering astray and might actually not return.
So once again, I question myself : How far can one go to be completely insensitve, unashamed and remain turgid with pride even when one has failed to satisfy the supposed expectations of the opposite party involved?
Answer : Very.
_____________
Good morning, I'm ditching tea for coffee - which I've never had any liking of. But what's a change without a change, eh? Today is a day of no such qualms. More importantly, I know that I find rest in Him. And as for forgiveness? I'm working on it.
The one question that lingers in my thought now is : How far can one go to be completely insensitve, unashamed and remain turgid with pride even when one has failed to satisfy the supposed expectations of the opposite party involved?
In this impenetrable bubble of deceit and sudden unwelcome hostility, I wonder to myself whether I had once committed the same mistake I did back in the day when I thought this bridge of sincerity would never fall apart. I just never learn, do I? All I do is fall back onto a trampoline of repeats and keep springing up and down its surfaces when what I need to do is lay back and settle onto solid ground. Maybe a little pain would wake me up.
But eventually - I always knew it - this so-called bridge of harbored trust and laughter would soon collapse in either side of its way, causing what is seen as a concrete piece of block that can never be repaired. What used to be a zone of connection and reaching out to has now been crushed into something else that does not even matter anymore.
Not that it bothers me for any longer than a minute, but just in case this post exceeds its targeted aim of complaint, all I have to say is there is nothing better than a few good giggles as well as the assurance of the people that mean more to me than the ones who cannot seem to differentiate between what priority is and what isn't.
Sigh. Don't we all hate excuses but just love giving them? I wonder how it feels like to be the one who thinks that the recipient of these excuses is someone of minimal brain capacity; someone who is dumb enough to not scrutinize the torn edges which crinkle like old, worn out folds on a parcel of initial comfort; someone who thinks it's perfectly alright to coop up in her own nook of ignorance. Or perhaps, just someone who bears no importance whatsoever.
Times have changed and so have people. Could it be that I'm finally getting to see the light again? As I try lounging back to the familiarity of my quilt comfort, I am standing at the mercy of God to not let any nightmares get in the way, and even if they do, I sincerely hope that I'm not the only one to dream about it. I'm not even supposed to.
They say forgiveness is divine, but it sure does take up much time to actually do so. This is a time when I just don't know what to do, but somehow...forgiving isn't something that I'm keen on at the moment. I will, someday, but now isn't the time. Try as I may, it is quite unbelievable to know that what was once an object so familiar with you is wandering astray and might actually not return.
So once again, I question myself : How far can one go to be completely insensitve, unashamed and remain turgid with pride even when one has failed to satisfy the supposed expectations of the opposite party involved?
Answer : Very.
_____________
Good morning, I'm ditching tea for coffee - which I've never had any liking of. But what's a change without a change, eh? Today is a day of no such qualms. More importantly, I know that I find rest in Him. And as for forgiveness? I'm working on it.
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