As much as a part of my heart still beats for the love of music, I'd still somehow prefer writing this with accompaniment of silence. Just using my fingers as a medium of translating my thoughts onto a webpage, which carries one too many possibilities of being ignored once published. I love it how when everything goes quiet, it shows that we are actually capable of controlling how we ought express ourselves vocally, and it determines the discipline within that allows us to observe, and think. Perhaps that is why we don't have noisy exams, or quiet wet markets. Every level of volume is ultimately deserving of its rightful situation, I believe, to make up a complete balance of both extremes. I don't really know what I'm here for to write, or to simply spew out a few train of thoughts that don't seem to connect at all. School is starting in about 8 days' time, and I've yet to complete all my prep, let alone do some constructive revising. Procrastination kills, but that's the reason why it keeps us going. I find it funny how we can readily accept the panic that comes flooding in with the package of a limited span of time and lack of sleep, and feel bad after that, but still come back to it. I do admit, I'm terrible at managing my own time. Even if I attempt, my half hour of nap will stretch on to two hours and the rest of my schedule gets marred because I just don't seem to comply with my own rules.
Being at the rims of adulthood is slowly appearing to be something that requires many more chores than I'd envisioned. You know how when we were really young, we couldn't wait to become adults because we thought all they had to do were sit in office cubicles, stay there for 8 hours and come home and just sleep? We thought we were slaves to our own minds because we felt that it was too unfair for adults to not have any homework while we were literally forced to do our math right away after our meals. What with the right of holding authority to freedom upon self, at least I used to picture that being adults meant having to do what you want at any risk, and having the right to ask permission for things from no one but yourself.
But I guess that isn't always the case. I have come to terms with the fact that with age comes responsibility. And I honestly didn't know what impact that word had on me until I launched into the threshold of late teenage years. All the pep talks have had their effect on me; I am now officially aware that the more I grow up, the more trust my parents will plant on me, and hence, the more responsibility I have to take up - not for my parents nor anyone else within the family - but for myself. I haven't learnt enough thus far, and I probably never will, but what I've picked up day by day are the lessons that have constituted a keen person who wants nothing short of improvement in her life. But sometimes it takes more than just a wake up call to let oneself know the importance of abiding to the principle of carpe diem, doesn't it. And maybe, just maybe, the hardest way might just be the best way to learn afterall.
Being at the rims of adulthood is slowly appearing to be something that requires many more chores than I'd envisioned. You know how when we were really young, we couldn't wait to become adults because we thought all they had to do were sit in office cubicles, stay there for 8 hours and come home and just sleep? We thought we were slaves to our own minds because we felt that it was too unfair for adults to not have any homework while we were literally forced to do our math right away after our meals. What with the right of holding authority to freedom upon self, at least I used to picture that being adults meant having to do what you want at any risk, and having the right to ask permission for things from no one but yourself.
But I guess that isn't always the case. I have come to terms with the fact that with age comes responsibility. And I honestly didn't know what impact that word had on me until I launched into the threshold of late teenage years. All the pep talks have had their effect on me; I am now officially aware that the more I grow up, the more trust my parents will plant on me, and hence, the more responsibility I have to take up - not for my parents nor anyone else within the family - but for myself. I haven't learnt enough thus far, and I probably never will, but what I've picked up day by day are the lessons that have constituted a keen person who wants nothing short of improvement in her life. But sometimes it takes more than just a wake up call to let oneself know the importance of abiding to the principle of carpe diem, doesn't it. And maybe, just maybe, the hardest way might just be the best way to learn afterall.
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