Ajar

Whoop. I've been left uninspired and totally discouraged to write anything that rings in my head, because - just because - gah, I really don't know. I guess it's all the fatigue. How we are now granted the liberty to sleep for as long as we wish, and yet I'm still keeping my sleeping hours to 6 hours a day. To me, not enough. I've been ticking past the little pages of the calendar plastered onto the images in my mind, and as I'd scanned through every box under each date, all of them were blank. Nothing. Had I nothing to do but still remain busy the whole time? No, that couldn't be it. It's perhaps I was too caught up momentarily and it slipped my mind to have at least written a sketch plan on the few days of short rest. What's this, then? I'd promised myself to at least shop for five hours - because that is the amount of time I'm normally wired up around when I do not shop. A week has nearly passed, and I've yet to add another shopping bag to my (presumably non-existent) collection. I feel a little guilty, yet they say that it is our right to choose how we want to feel. As of today, I'm feeling happy. And we ought to, when happiness is a case where you divide reality by expectations; little expectations, that is. You expect less, the scale of happiness goes higher - that's how it all works. But that doesn't mean you've to have an attitude of a pessimist, oh no. By accepting reality and just by lowering the anticipation of it, I guess that's all we need for the happy bar to be set. So am I happy? Yes. Because I am going shopping tomorrow.